How do you respond when you feel unsafe? When you have exposed your weakness in an effort to be authentic, only to get a swift kick in the gut as a “thank you”.
I can tell you what my immediate reflex is. Shut down mode. Walls up. Armor on.
How do you remain open and real in the midst of betrayal? How do you continue to fully show up and engage when you have been hurt and disappointed? How do you find a path forward with someone who may never own up to the harm they’ve caused? Continue reading “Lessons from the Pain”
On what should have been an hour and a half drive on a weekday afternoon, there was an accident on I-5 that made drive time turn into a 5 hour forced bonding time between myself and a work peer. To pass the time while sitting there, we talked and after a couple of hours, started trying to entertain one another by playing various games we recalled from childhood family road trips. My co-worker decided to play a game of “What’s your favorite?”, which led to her knowing much more about me than I would normally divulge to a colleague. What’s your favorite color? What’s your favorite movie? What’s your favorite food? What’s your favorite song? I can’t answer that one! I mean, there are so many, and it depends on what type of music, what mood I’m in, what memory its associated with, how do you pick one child over the other?! The question actually stressed me out! Continue reading “All I Ever Have To Be”
“Amazing Grace how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me, I once was lost but now I’m found was blind but now I see…”. These well-known and loved hymn lyrics quickly come to mind when I think of the word G-R-A-C-E. I also think of my great Aunt whose name is Grace, I always remember as a child thinking what a pretty name that was. I think I was onto something there, Grace is a beautiful thing…God’s grace for me, in demonstrating his love & forgiveness to me when I didn’t & don’t deserve it. Yet He gives it freely, He has been soooo very gracious to me. Continue reading “Amazing Grace”
I’m not good enough, probably not a popular statement, in a day and age, where it is widely touted that “the power is within you”, “all you have to do is believe”. It’s also probably not how I would recommend starting off a self-esteem conversation with a friend that needs an encouraging word. But, what I’m talking about isn’t a put down or a berating of yourself, it’s a reality check.
Confession time again…I have spent much of my life attempting to be good enough. I have worked long and hard and given it my best. I have attempted to prove my worthiness to those that love me and sometimes even to those that don’t appear to care for me all too much. Oh, the energy I have expended trying to create an impressive record for myself. Continue reading “I’m Not Good Enough”