The Power of Confession

ConfessionSo I have something to confess and that’s this……umm…I don’t like to confess.  It’s true.  I find it tough to tell the truth sometimes.

I think of all the reasons why I shouldn’t.  I run all possible scenarios of how my truth-telling could go wrong.  I imagine what awful things others may think of me and then I stay quiet.

I don’t just save this struggle with confession to those around me, I also struggle with telling the truth in my relationship with God.  He knows you and I completely and loves us still and yet I struggle with confessing the truth of where I’m at, of how I’m feeling.  Anyone else? Continue reading “The Power of Confession”

Little Bird

little birdYou were created a unique one of a kind creation.  From the very beginning I knew your journey in life would be difficult but although small I made you strong so you’d be able to handle the winds of change, so you could soar above the stormy clouds, life would surely bring.

You’ve lived in different nests and I hope they’ve taught you about yourself and about Me.  I have been with you on every flight and every landing and wherever your journey takes you I will always be there.  There is nothing you can do or say to get rid of me, we are flight partners for life.  Continue reading “Little Bird”

When Mother’s Day is Hard

It definitely makes one feel vulnerable to share what your heart feels so deeply.  To let your heart bleed on “paper” for all to look at and comment on.  Please know as I write this I’m not looking for comments or fixes or platitudes.  I am simply using my voice to tell my heart’s story in the hopes that it will help ease the pain and loneliness that one may feel in their own story.

Moms are deserving of a day where they receive home-made cards, flowers, lunch made by someone else and extra loves as a “thank you” for all they pour out on others day in and day out.  Everyone in my immediate family is a mom, most of my friends are moms and they are some of the most amazing humans I know, who love big, try hard and do so in countless, selfless ways.  Moms Rock!  So, I don’t write this post to detract from all they deserve but to put voice to what I’m fairly certain is not only a heartache known to me. Continue reading “When Mother’s Day is Hard”

The Blessing of Heartache

I’d much rather write a blog post titled, “the blessing of success”, “the blessing of victory”, “the blessing of discovered dreams”, those all sound pretty sweet! “The Blessing of Heartache” doesn’t really thrill me, but I am learning that there is truth in it.

The situation itself doesn’t matter because hurt is hurt, right?   I don’t know about you but I don’t like feeling hurt, I just want it to go away.  I will attempt to ignore it, numb it, block it out, whatever it takes, to just not feel it! Continue reading “The Blessing of Heartache”

What’s Love Got To Do With It?

Love

I can hear Tina Turner in my head now, “What’s love got to do, got to do with it, what’s love but a second-hand emotion, what’s love got to do, got to do with it, who needs a heart when a heart can be broken?”  Good question and she’s got a point!

I have thought often over the years that people are the best and worst part of life!  I know that may sound harsh, but let me explain.  Family and friendship can be so beautiful and sweet.  It is truly one of life’s greatest gifts to have someone who knows you in all your imperfectness and loves you still.  There is also the fact that if we love, we will get hurt and that part isn’t my favorite!  Relationships of all kinds at their best take time, work, attention, compromise and you will walk through times that are just plain hard.  I have just recently walked through this where I felt like I had poured into someone, let them in, only to have them betray me.  It was shocking, it was unexpected, it hurt deeply, it still stings and my immediate reaction is to want to shut down, put walls around my heart and not let anyone else in. Continue reading “What’s Love Got To Do With It?”

He Gets It

Do you ever feel like no one understands what you are going through?  I do!  Like your friends or even your family just don’t get it?  Me, again!

The other morning heading to work I was feeling a little weary, a little hurt, a little angry a little a lot of things, I guess.  I was thinking about someone who I am frustrated with.  I guess I felt let down by this individual and I felt justified in my feelings.  The fact that this individual had not met what I feel are reasonable expectations left me feeling, hurt and a bit rejected during an already difficult period.  I was struggling in that moment to let it go, to forgive, especially absent an apology or acknowledgment of any wrong doing, which I wasn’t holding my breath for. Continue reading “He Gets It”

Turtle Like Tendencies

I’m sure you’re all familiar with the old adage, “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”  I get the heart of this message and agree with it, truly this world does not need another voice joining the chorus of negativity, whining, complaining or insult throwing.  Beyond that, I try to be a person that if I am speaking I am hoping it is to add to the equation and not subtract.

A couple of months of dealing with serious family health struggles left me physically and emotionally tired, dealing with my own feelings of shame for failing at making desired progress in my life, for not being able to do everything well, add in my own physical crisis and all the issues that can make one consider left me in a place that I’d been before, back in my shell.  It’s dark and lonely there and deceptively “safe”. Continue reading “Turtle Like Tendencies”