The Cost of Avoidance

Friends, it’s been a theme of my life. I wonder if you’ve found it in yours as well? I avoid things.

Not all things. I embrace laughter and watching the sunset never gets old to me. Coffee? Yes, please, A day at the spa, sign me up! Time with a good friend, the best!

I avoid hard things. Things that cause discomfort, pain, heartache, unpleasant feelings of all kinds, forms and variations. I will walk away, I might even run. I will shut down and crawl inside myself so tightly that the very jaws of life don’t stand a chance. I work very hard to avoid things. I am adamant about avoiding things. I will fight tooth and nail to avoid things. I will stand my ground and stiffen my neck to avoid things. I take avoiding hard things very seriously!

Continue reading “The Cost of Avoidance”

Bring It To The Light

When I was a little girl, I hated the dark.  Going to bed at night needed to involve a night light and if for some reason I woke up and needed my mom or dad, my heart would palpitate at the thought of having to get through the dark house to get to safety.   I would close my eyes and run the length of the house and as quickly as my feet would carry me, scoot into my parents room where I didn’t have to be alone in the dark.

It’s strange as I think back to this because somewhere throughout life, I have grown comfortable with the dark.  Now for sleeping purposes this is just fine, but what is concerning is how comfortable I’ve grown with the darkness in everyday life.

Anyone else out there prone to darkness?  For me, darkness is easy.  Continue reading “Bring It To The Light”

Down But Not Out

When Herod was king of Judea, there was a Jewish priest named Zechariah. He was a member of the priestly order of Abijah, and his wife, Elizabeth, was also from the priestly line of Aaron.  Zechariah and Elizabeth were righteous in God’s eyes, careful to obey all of the Lord’s commandments and regulations.  They had no children because Elizabeth was unable to conceive, and they were both very old. – Luke 1:5-7

I’m wondering if you’ve ever had hopes and dreams that didn’t turn out?  A great plan that just never came to be?  I hope you can answer “no” to these questions, but my guess is, if you are breathing, you’ll probably answer “yes”.  Our circumstances may be different but dwindling hope feels the same doesn’t it? 

As I read Luke 1:5-7 I am challenged by Zechariah and Elizabeth’s response to their unfulfilled dreams and likely dwindling hopes. Continue reading “Down But Not Out”

Beyond Me

1 John 2:15-17New Living Translation (NLT). Do Not Love This World

15 Do not love this world nor the things it offers you, for when you love the world, you do not have the love of the Father in you. 16 For the world offers only a craving for physical pleasure, a craving for everything we see, and pride in our achievements and possessions. These are not from the Father, but are from this world. 17 And this world is fading away, along with everything that people crave. But anyone who does what pleases God will live forever.

Is this passage relevant to our daily lives or what?  Wow!  After reading it, my first thought is that this passage needs to be in regular rotation for me.  I don’t know about you, but living in this world, it seems we are bombarded relentlessly by all kinds of messages that attempt to influence how we spend our time and attention and the majority of those things have no eternal value.  Continue reading “Beyond Me”

Lessons from the Pain

How do you respond when you feel unsafe?  When you have exposed your weakness in an effort to be authentic, only to get a swift kick in the gut as a “thank you”.

I can tell you what my immediate reflex is.  Shut down mode.  Walls up.  Armor on.

How do you remain open and real in the midst of betrayal?  How do you continue to fully show up and engage when you have been hurt and disappointed?  How do you find a path forward with someone who may never own up to the harm they’ve caused? Continue reading “Lessons from the Pain”

It Is What It Is

Probably one of my least favorite phrases in life has been, “It is what it is”.  I think because I’ve seen it used as response to settling for less or a hall pass for not showing up for excellence.  When details are left unattended, things are seemingly falling apart and that one person just chimes in with, “it is what it is”.  That comment in the thick of things sends me to another stratosphere.  What I feel like I’m hearing is, “deal with it”, “it’s fine, get over it”, “it’s not a big deal, move on” and these notions irritate the life out of me!

Anyone else?  Please say yes!  Continue reading “It Is What It Is”

What is Your Pain Telling You?

Pain is always telling us something if we’re listening.  Lately, the blister I developed on my left pinky toe was telling me I needed to invest in a new pair of shoes.

The problem with pain is you have to feel it in order to hear what it’s telling you.  Ignoring it won’t work, numbing it only lasts momentarily and running from it is awfully tiring. Continue reading “What is Your Pain Telling You?”

What Does Your Pain Drive You To?

Self reflection can be tiring, but I would assume fairly essential to recognizing what in life may need changed.  So this is the question I’ve been chewing on lately.  Do I turn to the right “things” when life is hard?  When I’m overwhelmed?  When I’m ______ (you can fill in the blank).

More importantly, I have been examining what my initial reactions are…what’s my default position when the going get’s tough?  Who or what do I turn to when I need comfort? Continue reading “What Does Your Pain Drive You To?”

I Just Called To Say I Love You

Ok, how many of you are singing in your head now?  Love me some Stevie Wonder!  Somewhere in my childhood memories, I remember my dad calling in to the local radio station, MIXX 96.1, where in response to his melodious on air delivery of the lyrics, “I just called to say, I love you, I just called to say how much I care, I just called to say, I love you and I mean it from the bottom of my heart.”.  Well, in response to that he won a fairly large supply of Diet Coke! It was a day of celebration in our household!!

Now, I can’t promise that your proclamation of love for someone will win you Diet Coke, but I do believe it will spread lot’s of goodness around.  It is so easy in life to know inside that we love others, but how often do we on purpose, tell them?  When was the last time, you called them just to say “I love you”? Continue reading “I Just Called To Say I Love You”

Lessons I’ve Learned From A Life That Didn’t Go As Planned

I don’t know that any aspect of my life is as I thought it would be when I was younger.  It is not at all the picture I had in my mind.  This truth has been the source of some, o.k., a lot of heartache and questioning for me.  As I have wrestled with God over the years about the disparity between the life I wanted and the life I have, I think I have learned and continue to learn a few things that I hope will encourage you if you find yourself in a life script that you would not have written for yourself.

Be Happy Today – Don’t wait for tomorrow.  Don’t wait until you’ve finished.  Don’t wait until you’ve arrived.  Don’t wait until the finish line.  Celebrate today.  Give thanks today. Rejoice over progress not just completion.  Life is happening now, embrace it.

Your Circumstances Don’t Define You – Oh, society will scream loudly and well intending people will label you, but you are so much more than your circumstances. Continue reading “Lessons I’ve Learned From A Life That Didn’t Go As Planned”