Happy Merry Messy Christmas

I always have this image of the perfect Christmas in my mind.  A beautifully decorated tree, a wonderfully hosted party, homemade Christmas goodies, thoughtful gifts for all, family gathered round, carols by candlelight and lots of Christmas cozy.  I am sure my visions of the “perfect” Christmas come from too many Hallmark movies and too much Pinterest surfing because the “perfect” Christmas has proven to be completely elusive.

Christmas in reality is, I run out of time and energy to get it all done and I focus full-time on trying to keep my Christmas peace in the midst of the busyness and chaos and I have an ache in my heart that always tends to grow a little stronger this time of year. Perfect is hard to accomplish but messy seems quite achievable! Continue reading “Happy Merry Messy Christmas”

In ALL Circumstances

Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus. – 1 Thessalonians 5:18

All circumstances?  I mean, many of us aren’t thankful in favorable circumstances, let alone ALL.  All includes, the messy circumstances, the frustrating circumstances, the painful circumstances, the trying circumstances and yet as you can see God’s word states that it is His will for you & me to be thankful in ALL circumstances.

We may not be thankful for the circumstance, but we can be thankful in it.   We would not choose difficult circumstances for ourselves or for those we love, but there is so much to be thankful for right in the middle of the mess. Continue reading “In ALL Circumstances”

Tender and Grateful

As I begin to write this, I’m not sure you will ever see it.  Honestly, sometimes I refrain from writing because what I think is likely to come pouring out of me is so raw and real that I’m not sure if I’m ready to look at it let alone willing to fling it into the “universe”.

I’ve had a rough week.  Sometimes I am at a loss to express what I’m going through, maybe because I’m not quite sure myself and I feel that if I do share, no one is going to understand the battle I’m facing, so why waste my breath trying to explain when I’m already exhausted to begin with?  So, I sigh and say it’s fine and keep it moving; which leads me to my next train of thought that may be responsible for derailing me.  No matter how trying it is, I’ll just try more, try harder, longer, faster, smarter and guess what?  It’s never enough and well, that’s a real bummer. Continue reading “Tender and Grateful”

I Just Wanted You To Know

Thinking about youAs I sit down to write, I think about you.  I think about each one who will read.  I think about what you might be facing, about your unique personality, about what your journey is like and somehow I figure that despite what may be different about us, there are likely many things that are the same.

If you’ve lived long enough, you’ve likely known failure, me too.  If you are breathing, then I’m certain you’ve experienced heartache, me too.  Your years have undoubtedly brought some joys and moments worthy of big time celebration.  I bet you’ve cried and laughed and lost and won.  I’m sure you’ve had doubts and fears and that you’re holding on to some hopes and dreams.

As I think about you today, I just wanted you to know.  I wanted you to know that you are not the only one.  Continue reading “I Just Wanted You To Know”

Perspective

PerspectiveI know it’s not most people’s favorite thing to think about or talk about, but do you ever think about when you die?  I don’t mean how you’ll die or when, but after you are gone from this life, what do you want your legacy to be?  What do you want people to be confident in when you are gone?

Now, I hope to live a long life and I hope you do too, but I’ll tell you I think about this every now again. You know why, because nothing brings proper perspective like the finality of death.

She made the most of what was given to her.  She loved well.  She was generous.  She was a servant.  She made me feel special.  She encouraged me.  Those would all be wonderful impacts to make on those around me. Continue reading “Perspective”

The Power of Confession

ConfessionSo I have something to confess and that’s this……umm…I don’t like to confess.  It’s true.  I find it tough to tell the truth sometimes.

I think of all the reasons why I shouldn’t.  I run all possible scenarios of how my truth-telling could go wrong.  I imagine what awful things others may think of me and then I stay quiet.

I don’t just save this struggle with confession to those around me, I also struggle with telling the truth in my relationship with God.  He knows you and I completely and loves us still and yet I struggle with confessing the truth of where I’m at, of how I’m feeling.  Anyone else? Continue reading “The Power of Confession”

Little Bird

little birdYou were created a unique one of a kind creation.  From the very beginning I knew your journey in life would be difficult but although small I made you strong so you’d be able to handle the winds of change, so you could soar above the stormy clouds, life would surely bring.

You’ve lived in different nests and I hope they’ve taught you about yourself and about Me.  I have been with you on every flight and every landing and wherever your journey takes you I will always be there.  There is nothing you can do or say to get rid of me, we are flight partners for life.  Continue reading “Little Bird”

When Mother’s Day is Hard

It definitely makes one feel vulnerable to share what your heart feels so deeply.  To let your heart bleed on “paper” for all to look at and comment on.  Please know as I write this I’m not looking for comments or fixes or platitudes.  I am simply using my voice to tell my heart’s story in the hopes that it will help ease the pain and loneliness that one may feel in their own story.

Moms are deserving of a day where they receive home-made cards, flowers, lunch made by someone else and extra loves as a “thank you” for all they pour out on others day in and day out.  Everyone in my immediate family is a mom, most of my friends are moms and they are some of the most amazing humans I know, who love big, try hard and do so in countless, selfless ways.  Moms Rock!  So, I don’t write this post to detract from all they deserve but to put voice to what I’m fairly certain is not only a heartache known to me. Continue reading “When Mother’s Day is Hard”

The Blessing of Heartache

I’d much rather write a blog post titled, “the blessing of success”, “the blessing of victory”, “the blessing of discovered dreams”, those all sound pretty sweet! “The Blessing of Heartache” doesn’t really thrill me, but I am learning that there is truth in it.

The situation itself doesn’t matter because hurt is hurt, right?   I don’t know about you but I don’t like feeling hurt, I just want it to go away.  I will attempt to ignore it, numb it, block it out, whatever it takes, to just not feel it! Continue reading “The Blessing of Heartache”

Waking Up From A Dream

Waking Up For A Dream

Dreams can be funny things and by funny, I guess I mean not so funny.  Last night I dreamed about someone, someone I used to know. I wasn’t thinking of this person as I drifted off to la la land and I don’t spend a great deal of time and energy thinking about this individual on a regular basis, but for whatever reason they made what felt like a very real appearance in my dreams last night. Continue reading “Waking Up From A Dream”