Tag: life

I Just Wanted You To Know

by neeserisms

Thinking about youAs I sit down to write, I think about you.  I think about each one who will read.  I think about what you might be facing, about your unique personality, about what your journey is like and somehow I figure that despite what may be different about us, there are likely many things that are the same.

If you’ve lived long enough, you’ve likely known failure, me too.  If you are breathing, then I’m certain you’ve experienced heartache, me too.  Your years have undoubtedly brought some joys and moments worthy of big time celebration.  I bet you’ve cried and laughed and lost and won.  I’m sure you’ve had doubts and fears and that you’re holding on to some hopes and dreams.

As I think about you today, I just wanted you to know.  I wanted you to know that you are not the only one.  Continue reading “I Just Wanted You To Know” →

Perspective

by neeserisms

PerspectiveI know it’s not most people’s favorite thing to think about or talk about, but do you ever think about when you die?  I don’t mean how you’ll die or when, but after you are gone from this life, what do you want your legacy to be?  What do you want people to be confident in when you are gone?

Now, I hope to live a long life and I hope you do too, but I’ll tell you I think about this every now again. You know why, because nothing brings proper perspective like the finality of death.

She made the most of what was given to her.  She loved well.  She was generous.  She was a servant.  She made me feel special.  She encouraged me.  Those would all be wonderful impacts to make on those around me. Continue reading “Perspective” →

The Power of Confession

by neeserisms

ConfessionSo I have something to confess and that’s this……umm…I don’t like to confess.  It’s true.  I find it tough to tell the truth sometimes.

I think of all the reasons why I shouldn’t.  I run all possible scenarios of how my truth-telling could go wrong.  I imagine what awful things others may think of me and then I stay quiet.

I don’t just save this struggle with confession to those around me, I also struggle with telling the truth in my relationship with God.  He knows you and I completely and loves us still and yet I struggle with confessing the truth of where I’m at, of how I’m feeling.  Anyone else? Continue reading “The Power of Confession” →

Little Bird

by neeserisms

little birdYou were created a unique one of a kind creation.  From the very beginning I knew your journey in life would be difficult but although small I made you strong so you’d be able to handle the winds of change, so you could soar above the stormy clouds, life would surely bring.

You’ve lived in different nests and I hope they’ve taught you about yourself and about Me.  I have been with you on every flight and every landing and wherever your journey takes you I will always be there.  There is nothing you can do or say to get rid of me, we are flight partners for life.  Continue reading “Little Bird” →

When Mother’s Day is Hard

by neeserisms

It definitely makes one feel vulnerable to share what your heart feels so deeply.  To let your heart bleed on “paper” for all to look at and comment on.  Please know as I write this I’m not looking for comments or fixes or platitudes.  I am simply using my voice to tell my heart’s story in the hopes that it will help ease the pain and loneliness that one may feel in their own story.

Moms are deserving of a day where they receive home-made cards, flowers, lunch made by someone else and extra loves as a “thank you” for all they pour out on others day in and day out.  Everyone in my immediate family is a mom, most of my friends are moms and they are some of the most amazing humans I know, who love big, try hard and do so in countless, selfless ways.  Moms Rock!  So, I don’t write this post to detract from all they deserve but to put voice to what I’m fairly certain is not only a heartache known to me. Continue reading “When Mother’s Day is Hard” →

Turtle Like Tendencies

by neeserisms

I’m sure you’re all familiar with the old adage, “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”  I get the heart of this message and agree with it, truly this world does not need another voice joining the chorus of negativity, whining, complaining or insult throwing.  Beyond that, I try to be a person that if I am speaking I am hoping it is to add to the equation and not subtract.

A couple of months of dealing with serious family health struggles left me physically and emotionally tired, dealing with my own feelings of shame for failing at making desired progress in my life, for not being able to do everything well, add in my own physical crisis and all the issues that can make one consider left me in a place that I’d been before, back in my shell.  It’s dark and lonely there and deceptively “safe”. Continue reading “Turtle Like Tendencies” →

Bonus Time

by neeserisms

June 27th I was sitting in the hospital with my dad who had been admitted days before, while my sister was taking my mom to the emergency room as she was not feeling right.  What we assumed would be a quick trip turned into a wild & scary ride! Hold onto your seats.

I will never forget entering her room in the critical care unit for the first time and seeing her hooked up to all these wires and monitors with a tube down her throat.  I don’t do hospital’s well to begin with so seeing my mom like this was rough.  I observed from a few feet away at first, I had been told she could likely hear us and know we were there and I wanted to get myself together so I didn’t reveal to her how I was feeling inside at that moment.  It took me a bit to compose myself, I approached the bed, rubbed her hand and said, “Hi Mama”.  That was all I could do before my throat started to constrict and tears came.  In another 10 minutes, I tried again, “Hey Mama, it’s me Denise, I’m here” and I was done again.  A few more deep breaths and I made another approach, “Hey Mama, it’s Denise, you’re in the hospital and they’re taking really good care of you, all of your family has been here, Dad’s feeling better and we all sure love you.”  That was all I could do before my voice starting to give me away again.  I worked my way up to scooting a chair by her bedside, holding her hand and singing some of her favorites to her.  Cherished time with my mom. Continue reading “Bonus Time” →

Life Is Hard

by neeserisms

I am not sure when or where the false hood started for me? Somewhere along the line, I bought into the idea that life is about being happy. You grow up and achieve, what you want to achieve, whatever that may be for you…Get married, buy a house, have a family, work hard, play hard, love your family, surround yourself with great friends, be good to others and Walaa, happy life! …Then reality hits! Continue reading “Life Is Hard” →

Stay In Your Own Lane

by neeserisms

Stay In Your Own Lane and I’m not talking about driving skills here, although the sentiment obviously applies there as well.  As I was driving today (in my own lane, I’ll have you know :-))  I was reminding myself that I need to do a better job of staying in my own lane in life.

I can have a tendency to drift into another person’s lane and I do it by comparing my life with someone else’s.  What a mistake that is!!  Do you ever fall into this same trap? Continue reading “Stay In Your Own Lane” →

I’m Rich!!

by neeserisms

I guess you would have to buy a lotto ticket to win millions. I’ve never bought one, but I’ve had some fun thinking about what I would do with my winnings! It’s amazing how we can always come up with something that we “need” 🙂

Truth be told as a middle class American I am richer than 99% of the planet’s population and yet at times, I am not content with what I have, I am thinking of the new furniture I’d like to have or that handbag that is calling my name.  It is so easy for me to get consumed with “stuff” and it’s so stupid, cause you and I both know, “stuff” doesn’t matter, it doesn’t last, it doesn’t even bring true happiness, in most cases “stuff” just leaves you wanting some more “stuff”! Continue reading “I’m Rich!!” →